Grateful....
As I lay on my couch this morning in the throes of a wicked upper respiratory infection I was watching the crisp autumn sunlight filter in through my windows and listening to Gracie and my mother playing downstairs. Off in the distance I could hear my sweet hubby snoring softly and I was suddenly filled with joy and gratitude. I began thinking of all the wonderful blessings in my life from the very simple, such as the very comfy couch that I was curled up on, to the large blessings like my family. I began listing in my head all of the things I am grateful for and I felt so at peace and so full of happiness. Here is my list:
1. My body. Although it is battling an illness right now, the blessing is that it is strong enough to battle. Amazing processes are happening within me to fight this infection and it is a fight I will win because I am strong and healthy.
2. My husband. I am beyond blessed to have found Bill. He takes insanely good care of me. He holds me up on a pedestal and treats me like a queen. I do not know what I have done to deserve such a loving and selfless husband and I pray that he knows how much I love and appreciate him.
3. Gracie's Daddy. Yup it's the same as number two, but different. Not only is Bill the best husband on earth, but he is also the best father. Watching him play with Gracie and care for her is one of my greatest joys. Their relationship is so precious and so full of love. I know that she will grow up to have healthy relationships with men and will someday find a wonderful husband because she will not settle for anything less than the kind of love that she has gotten from her father.
4. Gracie. Wow! There's a blessing that I could not imagine. We were so unsure about taking the step and becoming parents. I still feel every day that I am unworthy to be her mother. I don't know how we became so lucky to have such a great person come into our lives! Her laughter and her joy permeate every part of our lives. My favorite moment of every day is cuddling up at night with her in my arms and whispering in her ear how much I love her and how proud I am of her and how happy I am to be her mother. Feeling the love radiating from her to me and back again is an amazing gift.
5. My mother. We joke about having my mom live here with us, but I don't think any of us realized how wonderfully this would work out. At night I hear Bill and my mom talking after dinner while Gracie and I do bath time or quiet time. They have the most amazing conversations and I realize that they have become really good friends. What an unexpected gift. Of course having Gracie grow up with her grandma the way I grew up with mine is a beautiful thing. Grandparents are so different and that relationship carries us through so many difficult times later in life. Their love is like immunization against sadness. Also having my mommy here with me is such a gift. I know I am never far from her love and her words of wisdom. The house seemed so empty when she was in the hospital this year. It felt incomplete.
6. My family. I have a huge family and I love each and every one of them. I have two brothers who have become my very closest friends. So many people do not have that kind of relationship with their siblings and I know how blessed I am. To share jokes and memories and genetic quirks with them is a joy. We may not look anything alike and we may not seem alike on the surface, but deep in our cores we are so alike it is scary. The shared experiences, the shared DNA, the shared environments have conspired to make us three very eccentric people. I wouldn't have us be any other way ;-)
6a. My friends. They are really part of the above family section. I have formed some deep and amazing bonds with some very special people. Some have come into my life in very unexpected ways and I know they are sent by God. Those relationships give me strength and peace and have really helped me to see myself in a new light.
7. My job. Yeah, I know I always talk about how I hate it, but it has enabled us to leave behind the money worries and I have made some dear friends there. I am trying very hard to find joy in my work because I know that until I embrace this work and make a it a joyful experience, I cannot leave.
There are many, many other things that I am thankful for, but that was my list this morning.
